Now accepting new clients in West Hartford, CT — in-person & virtual.
Now accepting new clients in West Hartford, CT — in-person & virtual.
Couples therapy can be a helpful process for gaining clarity about what’s really happening in a relationship and determining whether, and how, there might be a better path forward.
Our intimate relationships can be the most deeply meaningful and beautiful parts of our lives, as well as the most bewildering, infuriating, and painful — sometimes all at once. Couples therapy can be a helpful process for gaining clarity about what’s really happening in a relationship and determining whether, and how, there might be a better path forward.
It is not unusual for one partner to want couples therapy more than the other — with one sometimes feeling dragged in or forced to attend. There is usually plenty of finger-pointing and blame. You may feel like you’re having the exact same fight over and over, or you wonder if the distance between you and your partner can ever really be closed. Maybe you tried couples therapy before and it didn’t work, so you’re hesitant to try again. Perhaps there has been infidelity, and the pain of broken trust feels insurmountable.
Whatever brings you in, couples therapy — like individual therapy — can only be effective if each person has some willingness to work on themselves. To get as honest as possible. To take responsibility for their own feelings and behaviors. To practice, outside the consulting room, what is being learned inside it.
It is normal for the felt connection between partners to change and shift throughout a relationship. Things become confusing and tense when one or more partners is unhappy with that connection and wants something different — more appreciation, more genuine understanding, more time together, more time apart, more help with the children and the household. Maybe you wish your partner would drink less, work less, stop yelling, be more emotionally present, or have more self-awareness. Things can get to the point where you genuinely wonder whether to keep trying or call it quits.
If any repair is going to happen, most couples need to change how they communicate with each other. Better communication will not fix everything on its own — but without both partners committing to more honest, more loving communication, deeper healing becomes very difficult. Most of us were simply never taught how to communicate in ways that bring us closer. Couples therapy can be a useful process for developing those skills with the guidance and support of a neutral third party.
Some couples need to go back to basics — being more polite to one another, interrupting less, putting phones away when talking. Others benefit from learning to stay in uncomfortable conversations rather than looking for exits. Exit strategies — blaming everything on a partner, taking all the blame yourself, going silent, burying yourself in work or childcare or hobbies — are often self-protective, hard to identify, and hard to change. But they are always workable.
Sometimes the work in couples therapy is not about changing the relationship but about coming to terms with it. About accepting that a partner may be unwilling or unable to change in certain ways, or that they have genuine limitations — emotional, expressive, relational. This is not about accepting bad behavior or becoming a doormat. It is about examining your expectations honestly, and deciding what you can live with and what you cannot.
Patience — real patience, not resignation — can be one of the most powerful antidotes to the aggression and resentment that builds in long-term relationships. Learning to lower the temperature in an argument, to listen with both your head and your heart, is often the beginning of something genuinely different between two people.
A collaborative approach tailored to your needs and goals.
Standard therapy session duration.
Transition to biweekly or monthly as appropriate.
Flexible options to fit your schedule.
Superbills provided for possible reimbursement.
The first step is simply a conversation. A free 20- minute phone call — no pressure, no commitment. Most people find that one conversation makes the decision considerably easier.
